Global Ecovillage Network/Solution Library/Conflict transformation

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We tend to find conflict painful and frightening and do all we can to avoid it. Sometimes we pretend it is not there or withdraw. Often, once we go into the conflict, we feel triggered and react by either attacking the other or defending ourselves. We contract, become narrowly focussed and more and more convinced that we are right and the other is wrong. It becomes a matter of winning or losing. There is always the fear that the conflict may escalate into violence.

An eye for an eye will only make the whole world blind.

— Gandhi

Welcome conflict and embrace it as an inevitable part of human experience. See the other as yourself and sense the feelings and needs that underpin the outer expression. Create a sense of safety, possibly by bringing in a facilitator, in order to hold a bigger perspective and allow win­-win solutions to emerge. Bring compassions to the conflict and see it as an opportunity for learning and deepening intimacy. Would you rather be right or happy?

Swearing doesn’t make your argument valid; it just tells the other person you have lost your class and control.

— Shannon L. Alder

• Diversity & Cohesion.
• Trust & Communication.

• Exercise: Working with Conflict – Theory and Practice (to be linked).
• Non Violent Communication (NVC) https://www.cnvc.org/
• Process Work www.rspopuk.com
• Submitted by: Robin and Kosha