Overall Page Feedback[edit source]
- Good Project Scope introduction, I switched the location of Project Scope and Background, because your Project Scope is so good it should be on top.
- I added a section called "contributers", and added what used to be the beginning of your background which was just your names and educational background. I also added Otros Mundos, Juan Hildago, and the Majamout community to your contributors section.
- Great Tables, just give a brief description of any tables you use, at least say how your using the info for your project.
- some of the Journals and websites in your Literature Review have no description, these lit reviews are not just for looks, we will reconstruct the lit reviews by the end of the program and each team should have the information in the literature review integrated into the other sections of their page like "Materials" or "Project Scope" etc. Please describe what you read don't just write the name of the book and move on.
- use reference or footnote citation throughout your page, for any assumptions you make. ex: <ref>Smith,Butterfly. "Science Bears". www.hoses.com </ref>
- Section "system design" in literature review needs to elaborate maybe that could be with pictures, but add a bit more description too.
- In "Equations section", you say "Roof size to pipe size Volume of tank size". Where is the = or / . I dont understand what your saying.
- Very good writing!
Literature feedback[edit source]
What's the deal with the missing references indicated by question marks? Please either insert the appropriate references in the reference section, or delete the question marks.
Thanks, Tressie 02:20, 9 August 2010 (UTC)
Nice start. Some more english, formatting and journal articles needed.
Some additional suggested topics:
- tank types configuration
- tank sizing
- overflow
- maintenance/lifecycle cost
- overview of water utilities in chiapas
- water prices and origin
- rainwater quality
- San Cristobal and Chiapas precipitation
- Filters
- Roof types
Additional comments: Use thumb and caption on images. See Help:Images for more. Enter tables as tables and not as images. I made changes and left comments on the mainpage as well. You can use the history tab and compare changes to see the changes.
Thank you, --Lonny 19:49, 18 July 2010 (UTC)
Objective/Background Feedback[edit source]
Nice start, don't forget to reference all assertations.
- separate some of your info into a "Background" section, the first couple sentences under project
- scope are perfect. makes sure to back up your statements with references.
- Change "rainwater catching systems" to rainwater catchment systems.
- thanks for the otros mundos link
- last sentence in first paragraph is too informal in its voice.
- spell out "technology" in fourth sentence.
- Second paragraph definitely belongs under background.Drop the "Here" from the first sentence
- second paragraph. back up your climate asserations with reference
- add a sentence like: "The objective of this project is....."
- second to last sentence, second paragraph awkward needs to be rewritten.
- Last sentence is awkward, grammatically incorrect, and maybe redundant, please rework.
- caption your blackbox image
- blackbox comment: is potability the only significant need for the collected water? just asking.
- overall well written but you absolutely need references to back up your background assertations.
--Jeff Hinton 00:43, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
System design[edit source]
Hi Rainwater team,
Great work on the projects.
This document really needs to have the literature review removed and system designs put in its place. Use the literature information to create references for assertions using the ref tag.
Thanks, --Lonny 22:44, 8 August 2010 (UTC)