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Names of Writers: Brandon Storer and David Colvin | Names of Writers: Brandon Storer and David Colvin | ||
Writing Issue | |||
Comment here and discussion tab | |||
• Who do you feel is the target audience for the writing in this document? Suggest a change if you think the writing is not appropriate for this audience. | • Who do you feel is the target audience for the writing in this document? Suggest a change if you think the writing is not appropriate for this audience. | ||
The audience intended to be reached is anyone trying to gain knowledge about a greywater treatment system. | The audience intended to be reached is anyone trying to gain knowledge about a greywater treatment system. | ||
• Is the information presented easy to navigate? Can you find the necessary information easily? How would you improve the layout? | • Is the information presented easy to navigate? Can you find the necessary information easily? How would you improve the layout? | ||
The page is layout is easily navigated. Try not to have your images take up so much space of your web page. | The page is layout is easily navigated. Try not to have your images take up so much space of your web page. | ||
• Are headings used successfully? Are enough headings used? If so, are they specific enough? Are the headings in logical order? If not, would the document be easier to follow with more headings? Level two headings? If so, suggest some headings. | • Are headings used successfully? Are enough headings used? If so, are they specific enough? Are the headings in logical order? If not, would the document be easier to follow with more headings? Level two headings? If so, suggest some headings. | ||
The headings are in logical order. | The headings are in logical order. | ||
• Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph? Do all following sentences relate to that topic sentence? How could topic sentences of the paragraphs be improved? Suggest improvements for specific paragraphs. | • Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph? Do all following sentences relate to that topic sentence? How could topic sentences of the paragraphs be improved? Suggest improvements for specific paragraphs. | ||
The paragraphs are full of useful information. Some of your opening sentences don't relate to the headings. | The paragraphs are full of useful information. Some of your opening sentences don't relate to the headings. | ||
• Is the writing objective? Remember this is a technical communication. Make suggestions to avoid bias or opinion in sentences. (For example: eliminate adjectives/adverbs: very, many, large, etc) | • Is the writing objective? Remember this is a technical communication. Make suggestions to avoid bias or opinion in sentences. (For example: eliminate adjectives/adverbs: very, many, large, etc) | ||
Some grammatical errors, could not find any spelling errors, but I would recommend going through and re-reading your page | Some grammatical errors, could not find any spelling errors, but I would recommend going through and re-reading your page | ||
• Is each figure or photograph easy to understand? How could the figures be improved? Can you suggest another figure presents the information in a clearer manner? | • Is each figure or photograph easy to understand? How could the figures be improved? Can you suggest another figure presents the information in a clearer manner? | ||
All of the pictures are good images. But the two pictures that overlap are the first thing that caught my eye when i glanced at the page for my first time. | All of the pictures are good images. But the two pictures that overlap are the first thing that caught my eye when i glanced at the page for my first time. | ||
• Does the writer refer to the figure(s) in the text using figure numbers? Is each figure well described in the text and are the sources cited? Do the figures have captions? Make suggestions to better incorporate figures. | • Does the writer refer to the figure(s) in the text using figure numbers? Is each figure well described in the text and are the sources cited? Do the figures have captions? Make suggestions to better incorporate figures. | ||
You used a figure number only once to the first image, you should do the same for your other images. | You used a figure number only once to the first image, you should do the same for your other images. | ||
• If this is a RCEA page have the writers clearly presented the bottom line (predicted money and carbon dioxide emissions saved versus actual money and carbon dioxide emissions saved) in a table or graphical format? Suggest improvements to make this comparison easier for the reader to understand. | • If this is a RCEA page have the writers clearly presented the bottom line (predicted money and carbon dioxide emissions saved versus actual money and carbon dioxide emissions saved) in a table or graphical format? Suggest improvements to make this comparison easier for the reader to understand. | ||
NA | NA | ||
• Are there any questions you have about the topic that are not addressed? Are the sources of the information clearly presented under “References”? | • Are there any questions you have about the topic that are not addressed? Are the sources of the information clearly presented under “References”? | ||
A reference section would be a good thing to add. It will allow readers to further there knowledge about the greywater system. | A reference section would be a good thing to add. It will allow readers to further there knowledge about the greywater system. | ||
• Does the author provide links to related sites? Are there enough or too many? Are they technical enough or too technical for the audience of the document? Is the relevance of each site clear? Is there a summary of references? | |||
• Does the author provide links to related sites? Are there enough or too many? Are they technical enough or too technical for the audience of the document? Is the relevance of each site clear? Is there a summary of references? | |||
Sites are provided, but only appropedia pages. I recommend putting more links from different sites. | Sites are provided, but only appropedia pages. I recommend putting more links from different sites. | ||
• Is the document too long or short? (It should be between 2-3 pages). If it is too long, what should be taken out? If it is too short what remains to be addressed? | |||
I feel that your page is an appropriate length. Everything that needed to be known is present in this web page | I feel that your page is an appropriate length. Everything that needed to be known is present in this web page | ||
• Does the page have the “ENGR 115: In Progress” banner? Does the page have the correct categories (ENGR 115 and RCEA if applicable) at the end of page? | |||
YES | YES | ||
• List the strengths of document - (Be sure to address how the Appropedia page looks at this time.) | |||
I feel like you are headed in the right direction with your page. The headings of each section clearly tell the reader what they will be reading about next. Overall I noticed the hard work put into this page. Good Job | I feel like you are headed in the right direction with your page. The headings of each section clearly tell the reader what they will be reading about next. Overall I noticed the hard work put into this page. Good Job | ||
• List areas for improvement – (Be sure to address how the Appropedia page looks at this time.) | |||
Fixing the overlapped picture would be the first thing I would want to see fixed. Then add a reference section | Fixing the overlapped picture would be the first thing I would want to see fixed. Then add a reference section | ||
[[User:jrb154|jrb154]] | [[User:jrb154|jrb154]] | ||