Warning! You are not logged in. Log in or create an account to have your edits attributed to your username rather than your IP, along with other benefits.

The edit can be undone. Please check the comparison below to verify that this is what you want to do, and then publish the changes below to finish undoing the edit.

Latest revision Your text
Line 45: Line 45:


2.Is the information presented easy to navigate?  Can you find the necessary information easily? How would you improve the layout?  The information is easy to navigate through, and the necessary information is easy to find. However, this is partly because there isn’t much to navigate through or find. I would keep building on the existing layout, adding more information. I know this can be hard when an interview or information is sparse. Once you get your information on your page, breaking up the section “Retrofits” into more sections.  
2.Is the information presented easy to navigate?  Can you find the necessary information easily? How would you improve the layout?  The information is easy to navigate through, and the necessary information is easy to find. However, this is partly because there isn’t much to navigate through or find. I would keep building on the existing layout, adding more information. I know this can be hard when an interview or information is sparse. Once you get your information on your page, breaking up the section “Retrofits” into more sections.  
3.Are headings used successfully?  Are enough headings used? If so, are they specific enough?  Are the headings in logical order? If not, would the document be easier to follow with more headings?  Level two headings?  If so, suggest some headings. More sections needed= more headings needed. Your heading is too general. At the minimum you need some kind of intro heading, conclusion heading, and references heading to strengthen your page.
3.Are headings used successfully?  Are enough headings used? If so, are they specific enough?  Are the headings in logical order? If not, would the document be easier to follow with more headings?  Level two headings?  If so, suggest some headings. More sections needed= more headings needed. Your heading is too general. At the minimum you need some kind of intro heading, conclusion heading, and references heading to strengthen your page.
4.Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph?  Do all following sentences relate to that topic sentence?  How could topic sentences of the paragraphs be improved?  Suggest improvements for specific paragraphs. Again, you need more info on your page. Doing this gives you paragraphs. Right now you have no paragraphs, and no topic sentences.
4.Is there a clear topic sentence for each paragraph?  Do all following sentences relate to that topic sentence?  How could topic sentences of the paragraphs be improved?  Suggest improvements for specific paragraphs. Again, you need more info on your page. Doing this gives you paragraphs. Right now you have no paragraphs, and no topic sentences.
5.Is the writing objective?  Remember this is a technical communication.  Make suggestions to avoid bias or opinion in sentences.  (For example: eliminate adjectives/adverbs:  very, many, large, etc) All in all, you seem objective throughout your page.  
5.Is the writing objective?  Remember this is a technical communication.  Make suggestions to avoid bias or opinion in sentences.  (For example: eliminate adjectives/adverbs:  very, many, large, etc) All in all, you seem objective throughout your page.  
6.Is each figure or photograph easy to understand?  How could the figures be improved?  Can you suggest another figure presents the information in a clearer manner? You need pictures on your page. I don’t think a picture of you counts, lol. So, go back and take some pictures, or upload them if you’ve taken them already.
6.Is each figure or photograph easy to understand?  How could the figures be improved?  Can you suggest another figure presents the information in a clearer manner? You need pictures on your page. I don’t think a picture of you counts, lol. So, go back and take some pictures, or upload them if you’ve taken them already.
7.Does the writer refer to the figure(s) in the text using figure numbers?  Is each figure well described in the text and are the sources cited?  Do the figures have captions?  Make suggestions to better incorporate figures. You have no references to figures. Make sure to put titles and figure numbers on them, and refer to them using the figure number.
7.Does the writer refer to the figure(s) in the text using figure numbers?  Is each figure well described in the text and are the sources cited?  Do the figures have captions?  Make suggestions to better incorporate figures. You have no references to figures. Make sure to put titles and figure numbers on them, and refer to them using the figure number.
8.If this is a RCEA page have the writers clearly presented the bottom line (predicted money and carbon dioxide emissions saved versus actual money and carbon dioxide emissions saved) in a table or graphical format?  Suggest improvements to make this comparison easier for the reader to understand. You have done a good job with this. I would go further and analyze the data in words, or at least summarize the general financial outcome of the retrofit. This would make it easier to understand. You could think of it as doing the thinking for the reader. Talk about your graph.
8.If this is a RCEA page have the writers clearly presented the bottom line (predicted money and carbon dioxide emissions saved versus actual money and carbon dioxide emissions saved) in a table or graphical format?  Suggest improvements to make this comparison easier for the reader to understand. You have done a good job with this. I would go further and analyze the data in words, or at least summarize the general financial outcome of the retrofit. This would make it easier to understand. You could think of it as doing the thinking for the reader. Talk about your graph.
9.Are there any questions you have about the topic that are not addressed?  Are the sources of the information clearly presented under “References”? You should make a references section to site your sources.
9.Are there any questions you have about the topic that are not addressed?  Are the sources of the information clearly presented under “References”? You should make a references section to site your sources.
10.Does the author provide links to related sites?  Are there enough or too many?  Are they technical enough or too technical for the audience of the document?  Is the relevance of each site clear?  Is there a summary of references? You need more links on your site. What type of lighting was installed? Have a link to that specific lighting technology. Maybe appropedia has a page.
10.Does the author provide links to related sites?  Are there enough or too many?  Are they technical enough or too technical for the audience of the document?  Is the relevance of each site clear?  Is there a summary of references? You need more links on your site. What type of lighting was installed? Have a link to that specific lighting technology. Maybe appropedia has a page.
11.Is the document too long or short?  (It should be between 2-3 pages).  If it is too long, what should be taken out?  If it is too short what remains to be addressed? Your document is too short. You need to bulk up your page. This might mean going back to interview a second time with different questions.
11.Is the document too long or short?  (It should be between 2-3 pages).  If it is too long, what should be taken out?  If it is too short what remains to be addressed? Your document is too short. You need to bulk up your page. This might mean going back to interview a second time with different questions.
12.Does the page have the “ENGR 115: In Progress” banner?  Does the page have the correct categories (ENGR 115 and RCEA if applicable) at the end of page? Yes and yes. Good job.
12.Does the page have the “ENGR 115: In Progress” banner?  Does the page have the correct categories (ENGR 115 and RCEA if applicable) at the end of page? Yes and yes. Good job.
13. List the strengths of document - (Be sure to address how the Appropedia page looks at this time.)
13. List the strengths of document - (Be sure to address how the Appropedia page looks at this time.)
You have done a great financial analysis which is probably the hardest part.  It is very clear and unbiased. You have a great base to work from.  
You have done a great financial analysis which is probably the hardest part.  It is very clear and unbiased. You have a great base to work from.  
14. List areas for improvement – (Be sure to address how the Appropedia page looks at this time.)
14. List areas for improvement – (Be sure to address how the Appropedia page looks at this time.)
You need more information presented in paragraph form. Basically you need to beef the whole thing up. You need plenty more pictures on your page. Also, I noticed you don’t have a table of contents at the top. I would suggest making one.  
You need more information presented in paragraph form. Basically you need to beef the whole thing up. You need plenty more pictures on your page. Also, I noticed you don’t have a table of contents at the top. I would suggest making one.  
Warning! All contributions to Appropedia are released under the CC-BY-SA-4.0 license unless otherwise noted (see Appropedia:Copyrights for details). If you do not want your writing to be edited mercilessly and redistributed at will, then do not submit it here! You are also promising us that you wrote this yourself, or copied it from a public domain or similar free resource. Do not submit copyrighted material without permission!
Cancel Editing help (opens in new window)
Cookies help us deliver our services. By using our services, you agree to our use of cookies.