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User talk:S.Fraser

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Welcome![edit]

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Hi S.Fraser,

Welcome to the Appropedia wiki. Please make yourself at home! If you need a general wiki-tutorial, see the main help page (or the more in-depth one on WikiEducator).

Check your preferences and be sure you verify your email address and turn on email notification if you'd like it -- you can find out when your talk page, or any page on your watchlist, is modified. You may want to upload a photo or information about yourself to your userpage (which is at http://appropedia.org/User:S.Fraser).

If you have a particular interest or project in mind, go ahead and start it! If you have questions or suggestions, the best place to leave them is at the Village pump - you should get a fast response. Or, feel free to leave me a note on my talk page if you have further questions, need help finding your way around, have a cool idea for a project, or just want to chat.

Glad to have you here!

-solidally

Project[edit]

Great start!

Suggestions:[edit]

  • Formatting: tie into appropedia with hyperlinks, use existing site resources to explain basic concepts, put your page into the proper category
  • Content: you need a considerably more comprehensive lit review, cite each concept directly using <ref> commands, get into the peer reviewed literature hard, pick one of applications in section 3 and then quantify the improvements in efficiency.

--Joshua 16:11, 19 November 2008 (UTC)

Peer Edit[edit]

Hey Stew, I went through your article, and wrote a little bit about each section. Hopefully you find this helpful.

Intro[edit]

This paragraph was a little oddly worded. I fixed it up a little, but you should make sure I didn't remove anything important. The last sentence was a little confusing; the "and transparent ceramics" phrase doesn't sound right to me. I know what you're trying to say, but, if I try to parse the sentence, I get lost.

Thermo Physical ...[edit]

The sentences in this section are a little awkward, again. There is also quite a bit of repetition in sentence structure; three sentences in the second paragraph here start with "As ..." and another two start with a variation on "In comparison to ...". This might be fixed by simply rearranging the phrase ordering ("X happens as Y happens" instead of "As Y, X") but it might be more worthwhile to rewrite.

Looking at what you have in other sections, I think this section might be superfluous. Unless you're planning on making reference to something specific mentioned here later, this section should be a Wikipedia link. The part about the frequencies used might be good to keep, but should be moved into the applications section.

Applications[edit]

You mention that testing has shown over ten fold decreases in energy usage. Where did this statistic come from? This has to be referenced. I also linked a few things in this section to Wikipedia.

References[edit]

Your references need to be reformatted to Wiki-style. I added in the "make references" tag, so you just need to add them to your main text. I figure the last section ("Optimization Techniques") is there to remind you, but I moved it before references just to make it look a little nicer.

Overall, it looks like you're on track, but make sure to keep focused on the expectations of the project. There isn't much about increasing energy/materials efficiency here, and that's what we're getting marked on. I think you may have gone a little deeper into electromagnetism than necessary. Bring the article back into the realm of materials processing and you'll find it a lot easier. Also, make sure that the article text is formal in style. I noticed some colloquially worded sentences. Not a big problem, just something I noticed.

Good luck. I can help with editing your final copy, if you're interested. -- C.Cochrane 09:44, 21 November 2008 (UTC)