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- Formatting: tie into appropedia with hyperlinks, use existing site resources to explain basic concepts, put your page into the proper category
- Content: you need a considerably more comprehensive lit review, cite each concept directly using <ref> commands, get into the peer reviewed literature hard, pick one of applications in section 3 and then quantify the improvements in efficiency.
--Joshua 16:11, 19 November 2008 (UTC)
Hey Stew, I went through your article, and wrote a little bit about each section. Hopefully you find this helpful.
This paragraph was a little oddly worded. I fixed it up a little, but you should make sure I didn't remove anything important. The last sentence was a little confusing; the "and transparent ceramics" phrase doesn't sound right to me. I know what you're trying to say, but, if I try to parse the sentence, I get lost.
Thermo Physical ...
The sentences in this section are a little awkward, again. There is also quite a bit of repetition in sentence structure; three sentences in the second paragraph here start with "As ..." and another two start with a variation on "In comparison to ...". This might be fixed by simply rearranging the phrase ordering ("X happens as Y happens" instead of "As Y, X") but it might be more worthwhile to rewrite.
Looking at what you have in other sections, I think this section might be superfluous. Unless you're planning on making reference to something specific mentioned here later, this section should be a Wikipedia link. The part about the frequencies used might be good to keep, but should be moved into the applications section.
You mention that testing has shown over ten fold decreases in energy usage. Where did this statistic come from? This has to be referenced. I also linked a few things in this section to Wikipedia.
Your references need to be reformatted to Wiki-style. I added in the "make references" tag, so you just need to add them to your main text. I figure the last section ("Optimization Techniques") is there to remind you, but I moved it before references just to make it look a little nicer.
Overall, it looks like you're on track, but make sure to keep focused on the expectations of the project. There isn't much about increasing energy/materials efficiency here, and that's what we're getting marked on. I think you may have gone a little deeper into electromagnetism than necessary. Bring the article back into the realm of materials processing and you'll find it a lot easier. Also, make sure that the article text is formal in style. I noticed some colloquially worded sentences. Not a big problem, just something I noticed.
Good luck. I can help with editing your final copy, if you're interested. -- C.Cochrane 09:44, 21 November 2008 (UTC)