Peer Pressure and Ways to Avoid it[edit | edit source]
“When you say YES to others make sure you aren’t saying NO to yourself -Anonymous"
Peer pressure is really rampant in these days, especially in high school. We are very exposed to these temptations because we wanted to satisfy our curiosity. Peer pressure according to Merriam Webster dictionary is a feeling that you must do in order other people will respect you or be part of their group. In my own definition peer pressure is doing something that you don’t in order to gain acknowledgment from other people that may lead wrong decision that may cause early pregnancy, drug abuse, bullying and many more.
Peers play an important role in our lives as teenagers because we mostly spend our time with them than our parents and it also plays a vital role in developing our teenagers into adults. According to Simeon (2016) when our children’s peers are a bad influence for them it can lead to our children bad habits, disastrous behavior and make a dumb decision however it can be also beneficial if your children’s peers are very influential in academics. It will help them excel in academics too. They may push your child into a healthier and more active to any school activities like sports and clubs.
But how does peer pressure work anyways? To understand this, first, we have to know what is the important role of peers in the lives of our teenager? According to Laurence Steinberg that is mentioned by Simeon (2016) as your children grow up they will start finding their identity in this world, start separating from their own parents and will look for friends that will be the source of their secondary identity. As they search for their identity in these world peers are of course part of that process. According to Center for Young Women’s Health (2013), peer pressure starts when they encourage you to do something that is either good or bad for you. There are some possibilities that they will use guilt, threats, or insults to push you to make you do what they want or other possibilities are your son or daughter may feel that they are behind with your friends because everyone is doing it so.
However, not all of the peer pressure is negative there are also positive. According to Hardy (n.d.) positive peer pressure is a good type of peer pressure it will help their child to excel in academics and do well in school. But positive peer pressure is not common in teenagers these days. On the other hand, negative peer pressure is the most common in teenagers these days. Negative peer pressure encourages teenagers to smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, try drugs and engage in sex it can happen direct and indirect.
Direct negative peer pressure is friends that directly asked their classmates to drink alcohol, try drugs, smoke cigarettes, and engage in sex and many more. As what you read earlier direct negative peer pressure is a powerful form of peer pressure because it is much more difficult to resist these kinds of temptation. It is really possible that they couldn’t say no to this invitation because they are afraid to be scorn by what they called friends. In contrast to indirect negative peer pressure might not be as powerful as direct negative peer pressure but it will also greatly manipulate their decisions. Unlike direct negative peer pressure, indirect negative peer pressure is an unspoken pressure that a teenager may feel in here group or environment. He sees and hears that everyone is doing it so he/she will be the push to do it also because he/she didn’t want to be left behind.
Based on my own experience when I was junior high school student my friends usually tell me about the feeling when they drink alcohol. For them, it feels like crazy at the same time fun. Most of them encourage my other classmates including me to try some alcohol. It was just a simple invitation and most of my male classmates try these things because they feel manly if they do it and they don’t want to be left behind and to be called as gays and pussy.
But how to avoid peer pressure? According to University of California Santa Cruz (2016) managing, peer pressure is usually not difficult especially when you are encircled with peers that are similar to your values, behavior, and preferences. However, you are not permanently surrounded by those peers there will be part of our life that we will encounter different kinds of people who had a variety of attitudes and behavior. In order to resist pressure here are some of the tips that you might be needed.
Ask yourself. Ask yourself of “how you feel if you engage yourself in these kinds of things” “Does it feel right or wrong to you?” and “What are the advantages and disadvantages of making this kind of decision”.
You can’t please everyone. Always remember that you can’t please everyone or to act to be liked by everyone. I know it’s hard to accept but it is worth to try.
Practice saying NO. There is some situation that you can’t avoid the pressure-filled situation but practice says “No Thanks” or just “No”. If it is uncomfortable for you to say those words then you can also practice using this kind of response “Not today”, “Maybe another time” or “Thanks, but I can’t”
Parents also play a vital role in avoiding there son or daughters to a negative peer pressure. A study conducted by Loke and Mak (2013) they discover that poor parent-child relationship could lead to risky behavior. These kids are vulnerable when it comes to peer pressure because their parents are lacked guide, love, and support. The same as authoritarian (parents who had lack of support and high expectation) could also lead their child to engage in risky behavior like smoking and drinking. However, with the proper support, love, guidance and appropriate level of monitoring can lead to a positive psychosocial development.
These are the ways of developing a healthy parent-child relationship as defined by Lewis (2012):
Develop a close relationship with your children. You can develop this one by spending more time with your children and explore new things with them. This will give chance to get to know your children and develop a close relationship, thus making them trust you to share their personal problems.
Encourage positive friendships. Encourage your son/daughter to make a variety of friends. It might be there club buddies, scouts, along with their classmates so they will be exposed to the different ideas and interest of other children. So they will feel the sense of individuality and they don’t easily influence other groups.
References[edit | edit source]
Center for Young Women's Health. (2013, May 24). Peer Pressure. Retrieved from Center for Young Women's Health.org: https://youngwomenshealth.org/2013/05/24/peer-pressure/
Hardy, M. (n.d.). Type of Peer Pressure. Retrieved from lovetoknow: teens.lovetoknow.com/Type_of_Peer_Pressure
Lewis, R. (2012, January 3). How Parents Can Spot and Deal with Negative Peer Pressure . Retrieved from The National [Lifestyle]: https://www.thenational.ae/lifestyle/family/how-parents-can-spot-and-deal-with-negative-peer-pressure-1.410899
Loke, A., & Mak, Y.-w. (2013, September 10). Family Process and Peer Influence on Subtance Used by Adolescents. doi:10.3390/ijerph10093868
Simeon, D. (2016). Peer Pressure Problems: Hard for Teens to Resist, So How Do We Help. Retrieved from Your Teen: https://yourteenmag.com/social-life/teenagers-friends/peer-pressure
University of California Santa Cruz. (2016, August 16). How to Handle Peer Pressure . Retrieved from University of California Santa Cruz Counseling and Psychological Services : https://caps.ucsc.edu/counseling/aod/peer.pressure.html