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::Hi Moribund. Ok, I can understand how it may have sounded like that. Any suggestions on how to rephrase? Also Moribund, I forgot to write the "summary" on my first edit, that's ok right? or if better to add it, how to do that now? Thanks for your help, --[[User:Keshavboddula|Keshavboddula]] ([[User talk:Keshavboddula|talk]]) 13:56, 3 April 2019 (PDT) | ::Hi Moribund. Ok, I can understand how it may have sounded like that. Any suggestions on how to rephrase? Also Moribund, I forgot to write the "summary" on my first edit, that's ok right? or if better to add it, how to do that now? Thanks for your help, --[[User:Keshavboddula|Keshavboddula]] ([[User talk:Keshavboddula|talk]]) 13:56, 3 April 2019 (PDT) | ||
:::Regarding edit summary, this is just to help other editors quickly understand what edit you made when they are looking at the article history, although I'll admit that I don't bother to write an edit summary 95% of the time. | |||
:::Regarding the content itself, | |||
<blockquote>"In addition, or in envisioning a future phase of AT that lies on a more subjectively-observed axis of knowing, proponents could also claim their methods make more life(-energy) sense, are more at balance or in harmony with the natural environment, and enable appropriate, healthier, happier, more fulfilling, meaningful or purposeful ways of life."</blockquote> | |||
*To say "in envisioning" sounds a bit awkward, since the same syllable is immediately repeated. | |||
*"lies on a more subjectively observed axis of knowing" ... I am not sure I understand what exactly is meant here, and potentially some readers might also struggle to understand. | |||
* "make more life(-energy) sense" ... what is meant by life energy? How specifically does it make more energy sense? | |||
* I would potentially avoid using the term "appropriate" since this would make the definition slightly circular. The appropriateness element is also covered later in the definition. | |||
Kind regards, [[User:Moribund|Moribund]] ([[User talk:Moribund|talk]]) 14:32, 3 April 2019 (PDT) | |||
Revision as of 21:32, 3 April 2019
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Hi Keshavboddula,
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- Hi Moribund. Ok, I can understand how it may have sounded like that. Any suggestions on how to rephrase? Also Moribund, I forgot to write the "summary" on my first edit, that's ok right? or if better to add it, how to do that now? Thanks for your help, --Keshavboddula (talk) 13:56, 3 April 2019 (PDT)
- Regarding edit summary, this is just to help other editors quickly understand what edit you made when they are looking at the article history, although I'll admit that I don't bother to write an edit summary 95% of the time.
- Hi Moribund. Ok, I can understand how it may have sounded like that. Any suggestions on how to rephrase? Also Moribund, I forgot to write the "summary" on my first edit, that's ok right? or if better to add it, how to do that now? Thanks for your help, --Keshavboddula (talk) 13:56, 3 April 2019 (PDT)
- Regarding the content itself,
"In addition, or in envisioning a future phase of AT that lies on a more subjectively-observed axis of knowing, proponents could also claim their methods make more life(-energy) sense, are more at balance or in harmony with the natural environment, and enable appropriate, healthier, happier, more fulfilling, meaningful or purposeful ways of life."
- To say "in envisioning" sounds a bit awkward, since the same syllable is immediately repeated.
- "lies on a more subjectively observed axis of knowing" ... I am not sure I understand what exactly is meant here, and potentially some readers might also struggle to understand.
- "make more life(-energy) sense" ... what is meant by life energy? How specifically does it make more energy sense?
- I would potentially avoid using the term "appropriate" since this would make the definition slightly circular. The appropriateness element is also covered later in the definition.