Literature Review comments
Nice formatting. More information and book sources needed. In addition, make sure to put the image link and rights (e.g. Creative Commons Share Alike and By Attribution) on the actual image page.
In electromagnetic force section: energy is not "produced" in the no-battery light, it is converted from kinetic to electrical.
Some other suggested topics:
- Building materials for windbelts
- Rectifiers
- Series and parallel wiring
- Small scale power and energy basics
- Building coils
Thank you, --Lonny 19:37, 18 July 2010 (UTC)
Project Scope/Background Comments
Nice start
- client background- Maybe this section should follow the project description/scope section.
- Where is otros mundos based?
- how far reaching is their involvement? chiapas only?
- How long has otros mundos been active? add a link in this section to otros mundos' site.
- Wording is a little choppy in client background section. "hidden agendas" is too informal. also "social, political,
environmental, economic" alone do not constitute "crises". If you have pulled parts of this background from otros mundos' website add reference!
- change "their vision is simple" to "The vision statement for Otros Mundos is:"
- Choose a better image for otros mundos and improve image formatting.
- The introduction section is not needed.
- Nice objective statement, what is an energy cinch? be more formal.
- black box needs to be reformatted!
- add more detail about how this tool can help otros mundos.what are they powering? usb power supply
thingy? how long are they out in the field? is this a mobile tool?
--Jeff Hinton 00:44, 19 July 2010 (UTC)
Edits
In Client section, changed original sentence:
"Otros Mundos Chiapas is a non-profit, Mexican civil rights organization. It has no political or industrial ties, which allows the organization to serve the people of Mexico without hidden agendas. Otros Mundos backs up the search for alternative solutions to the following crises, that occur in contemporary capitalist society:"
"Otros Mundos Chiapas is a non-profit, civil rights organization based in Mexico. It has no political or industrial ties, which allows the organization to serve the people of Mexico without external pressure. Otros Mundos backs up the search for alternative solutions to the following crises that occur in contemporary capitalist societies:"
Important changes- Changed 'without hidden agendas' to 'without external pressure' as this more neutrally reflects the situation at hand- which may or may not be subject to hidden agendas, but definitely may be subject to external pressures.