Hey Shelby, here's some tips on how to make your article a bit clearer, in my opinion.
- First of all, you use the word "heat" quite a bit. I'm pretty sure that heat is defined as the movement or flow of energy, not an amount. You should look back over everywhere that you used the word "heat" and make sure that it fits. For example, your first sentence was "Geothermal energy is the energy that can be harnessed using the heat that occurs naturally in the Earth" should be rewritten as something like "Geothermal energy is the energy that can be harnessed utilizing the high temperatures found in the earth's crush", or something along those lines.
- The last two sentences of the intro are poorly worded and confusing and should be rewritten. I believe you mean to say that the surrounding ground water is heated in the regions of the crust with geothermal energy, not can be heated. The last sentence is just awkwardly worded, taking out the unnecessary "is what" might help . Actually, just reword it to "This steam is captured and used to create electricity through a turbine system." (I might do this myself, it's really starting to bug me)
- Dry Steam: Ugh, I'm just going to edit this section myself. Check the changes in the changelog. Reread the section on Dry Steam, because I changed it extensively based on my knowledge of the subject, which might not be as sound as yours.
- Flash Steam: Second sentence has a hanging "this" without a modifier. I know at least 3 English teachers that would drop a full letter grade off a paper for leaving a hanging "this" in the final draft. I bet you could combine the first and second sentences of the second paragraph to make it flow better. In the third sentence, I would change "produce" to "generate".
- Binary Cycle: The first three sentences are poorly worded and unclear. Be more specific about what you mean by a lower temperature liquid and where it is coming from and going.
- Utilized Areas: A map showing geothermal potentials a colors would be a pretty nice addition to both this section and the next, if you can find one.
- General notes: Not a bad start, you mostly just need to reword a lot of it to make it clearer. You could also just add more information, and possibly a section on the pros and cons of geothermal power or some kind of cost to benefit analysis.
Notes from the presentation
Here are a few notes from my suggestions during class:
- electricity should be electrical power in a few cases
- mention the heat exchanger
- 181 megawatts of electrical energy should be power
- other countries worth noting in geothermal power... e.g. El Salvador.
- 25% needs to be qualified greatly (i.e. domestic, nonhydroelectric, renewable, electrical)
Good work, --Lonny 09:21, 18 June 2010 (UTC)