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The Project

Here is a flow chart of what the data is going to go through

The Energy Monitoring station here at Humboldt State University[1] , is one of the many projects under the Humboldt Energy Independence Fund(HEIF)[2], which is responsible for collecting, analyzing and publishing specific energy usage for campus and community use. The idea was created after a program that was similar to UC Davis'[3] energy monitoring system, where their information is about specific building energy usage. This information has a variety of uses which may result in less electricity use by Humboldt State University. Previously the information was thought that the electric and gas meters installed throughout the campus were not monitored by any outside sources. With the proposal of this project, it turns out that the information was collectively stored within the meters without anyone knowing this fact. However the information was kept in a log book in HSU's Plant Operations, so that data was not available for student use.

Uses

Here are some proposed uses for the complied and analyzed energy data:[4]

  • developing baseline energy consumption estimates across campus
  • identifying candidate buildings in need of more detailed evaluation
  • prioritizing energy efficiency projects by their relative impact on energy use
  • providing critical quantitative inputs for future HEIF proposals
  • monitoring and quantitatively assessing the impact of energy efficiency retrofits and
  • outreach programs funded by HEIF
  • educating the HSU community about building energy efficiency and conservation
  • planning, maintenance, and operational decision-making by Plant Operations

The Internship

The main goal of the intern is, at a minimum, to collect and compile gas and electric data form the various building on campus. The intern would also encouraged to attend outreach activities to get the information to staff, students and members of the community. Energy data is critical for HSU staff, faculty and students, however it is currently collected in an ad hoc fashion. This happens because there is no set time that it is collected, only when ever someone accesses the Energy Monitoring System. Only students would be eligible for hiring as the energy monitoring intern. The intern does not have to have set work hours, they can be completed when ever the student has time in between classes and other commitments. The current intern (Nathan Chase) is creating a program that will compile the information into an excel spreadsheet.

Duties

Be sure to read all editing codes, including W1. You could use "The intern is not responsible for community outreach" instead of "does not do much". Again this paragraph needs more work with transitions between sentences. You switch from Nathan, to HEIF back to Nathan again.

The intern is responsible for collecting the data that the EMS collects and putting it in an understandable form. The current intern has not done any work with community programs because Green Campus does and has more experience with community outreach. Green Campus is a grass roots program that works to try to develop energy awareness among the community. One of the projects that HEIF does to raise energy awareness is to have a building energy competition, to see which building is using more energy. Some of the goals which Nathan hopes to complete are;

  • Create a new website for HEIF with better design and layout.
  • Code a program to disseminate the raw energy data.

Requirements

Avoid second person (you). ... "and have the technical qualifications which can be gained from completing ENGR 473". Again, you are switching tense between past and present. I encourage you to have a paragraph where all you talk about is what the current intern, Nathan Chase is doing... Another paragraph which discusses Duties in general and another that discusses Requirements in general.

To be eligible for the Campus Energy Monitoring internship, you have to attend Humboldt State University and have the technical qualifications which can be gained from completing ENGR 473. The hiring process to become the intern is a creative job description about what the intern whats to do with the job and then submits it to Plant Ops. Nathan Chase says that on the day to day basis he had to sort out the raw data and understand how to navigate a computer. To get hired Nathan had to have skills with;

  • Building retrofits
  • Programing background
  • Energy Retrofits

Other HEIF Energy Projects

I am not sure this information is useful here. You can refer to HEIF at the beginning of your document.

One of the goals of the HEIF campus Energy monitoring is to make it easier to get find energy data on the different buildings so that energy projects and be more effective. To get a project accepted by HEIF one has to submit a project proposal to the HEIF board and then get a majority vote. The HEIF board is a majority of students. Any proposals that HEIF gets are broken into two categories;

Generation

Generation includes any proposal to create electricity, projects that fall into this category are;

  • Gym and J Co-generation Units
  • Art Buildings Photo-Voltic system

Efficiency

Efficiency programs are anything that reduces the amount of energy a building intakes.

  • One of the projects is changing the lights in the library for more efficiency lights.


Beth's Comments

  • L1 - See C12 Starting with a small flow chart is not that compelling. You could have a photo of students completing an energy audit. Start with a sentence that summarizes the purpose of your page.
  • Your page has an international audience. Imagine someone from Japan reading your page. You need to put HSU and HEIF in context.
  • Your heading in your list of Contents needs to be more specific so someone can learn about the project by just reading the headings.
  • Review other HEIF related appropedia pages to get an idea.
  • You need significant assistance with your writing. Be sure to work with folks at the writing center and with your instructors. Have friends read your page and suggest improvements.
  • Your first paragraph under "The Project" requires significant revision.
  • The list under "Uses" is good. Where did you get the list? Be sure to cite sources
  • Be sure to read C9
  • You do need some images. You could include photos of Nathan working. The captions can help tell the story.
  • It is hard to know how much of this project is supposed to be about the internship itself, or the campus monitoring effort.
  • Your peer editors have some excellent suggestions for additional content and for organizing your existing content. Why did not not take their advice?
  • Be sure to get help with this project.

References

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