1. === Economic expansion === OK?
2. It appears that the section starting with "Urban agriculture
- assists to close the open loop system in urban areas..." pertains to sustainability. Suggest clarifying that here.
3. Suggest explaining how exactly urban agriculture improves health through the quality of the urban environment.
4. Suggest clarifying how "Living walls and green roofs are space-efficient ways of bringing plants into the city." is a benefit of urban agriculture.
5. For "These activities may impact..." suggest clarifying the "activities" you're referring to here.
6. OK to join paragraph starting with "Urban agriculture contributes..." to preceding sentence as one coherent benefit?
7. Sustainability section already touches on "Because urban agriculture promotes energy-saving local food production, urban and peri-urban agriculture is generally seen as sustainable practice." Need to repeat?
8. "Breeding grounds are created through standing water (even tiny amounts of rainwater may be enough for some species, such as the variety that spreads dengue)." change OK?
9. Suggest explaining "important" in "Resting sites for adults may actually be more important than larval habitats."
10. Suggest clarifying "this model" in "Modern planning and design initiatives that are more responsive to this model of urban agriculture because they fit within the concept of sustainable design." or rewording the sentence.
11. Suggest including a lead-in to the bulleted list that starts with "Urban and peri-urban agriculture expands the economy of the city..."
12. Regarding "Women have more opportunities to be part of the informal economy of a city. Farming and selling activities can be combined more easily with household tasks and childcare." consider that men handle household tasks and childcare as well.
13. Appeared to be citation errors in Editing page, which also rid "Such practices are widely seen as small-scale..." from the public text. Fixed; please check.
14. Please fix "local food movements provide work, and Some researchers indicate that unemployed populations in large cities and suburban towns would decrease if put to work by ."
15. Regarding "Some community urban farms are efficient and help women who otherwise find it hard to get jobs..." consider whether community urban farms help men who otherwise find it hard to get jobs as well.
16. In "educational programming for gardeners in the community as well as school students - to improve effectiveness as well as encourage people to start. Educating students can have an impact through their families as well as in their own futures," OK to repeat "as well" three times?
17. Suggest references follow the format applied to #s 1-4 (include available information): Last name first, first name initial, and First name initial, last name. Year. "Title of Work" (sentence style), Title of Source volume(issue): page(s).
—The preceding unsigned comment was added by SpiritedWords, 00: 40 28 ago 2010
- Thanks! I've had a go at fixing #14 and #16. I'll look at your suggestions in more detail when I have access to a proper computer.
- I've had a look through your many excellent edits to the page, and there's a big improvement in the page. I hope you continue to contribute here and on other Appropedia pages.
- Feel free to be bold in changes that you believe will improve the page. Even when mistakes are made, that can even be a good thing in the long run as it can prompt someone else to improve it.
- You've prompted me to start some new pages, on greywater reuse, night soil, and humanure, in spite of having to edit from my mobile phone :). --Chriswaterguy 12:34, 30 August 2010 (UTC)